This summer has been one of my best and worst. I got to share experiences with so many of my friends following my high school graduation, see my sister, take another step towards getting a license, but life just wouldn't let me be happy for long.
I haven't felt this shaken since another incident 3 years back that set into motion my relocation to my father's house in Texas. This time though, to be honest I'm not quite sure how I can put the pieces back together. I feel like I'm trying too hard to show positive emotion. I know in my heart that I have the love and support of many but the reality is still too raw for me to stomach without my throat feeling like its swelling shut. I suppose this is some sort of depression? I'm not sure...
I think about her a lot...I've cried myself to sleep a few...I know that I can get back up from this, but its going to take some time. Please be patient with me, forgive me if I might snap at you, if I might burst into tears out of no where, if my mind drifts off more than usual, and if I might become a little more clingy.
I am not well, I was not prepared for this possibility, no one is. I may be distant, I may not reply, but that doesn't mean I care any less of any of my loved ones. And don't fret, suicide is for the weak and cowardly, I AM strong and WILL come back to the gray.
For now though, let me wander in the dark.